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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 05:14
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 05:14
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Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
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University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 12:20
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